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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28837833">a tongue and a cheek</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/craigasaur/pseuds/craigasaur'>craigasaur</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Political RPF - US 21st c.</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Humor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:48:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>547</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28837833</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/craigasaur/pseuds/craigasaur</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>the thoughts of donald trump on an evening escapade, narrated by the voice in your head.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nancy Pelosi &amp; Donald Trump</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a tongue and a cheek</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“We're very passionate about how we protect and defend our country and how offended we were about this assault perpetrated by the commander in chief.” the speaker for the house was uniquivocal in her meaning. during her closing remarks, i saw a little bit of spit fly loose from her lip - and in that moment i knew, i had to have her again. we have to be so careful now, my signals had to be discreet, but my message would reach her. "nasty woman," i repeated longingly, "nasty.... nasty woman." i was thinking about her vagina.</p>
<p>it was getting late, almost 6 in the evening - our long awaited rendezvous was nearly at hand. i had to cover my tracks. first i went to tell melania that i would be with the boys - she and barron scowled as i stepped into the room. they keep on jabbering to each other in spanish - i'm pretty sure it's spanish - but i'm sure they heard me. then i went to check on the boys. don was practicing the speech i gave yesterday and the other one was tying his tie wrong in the mirror. i told them i would be spending the evening with their mother and that they shouldn't disturb us because i'm going to fuck her. don wanted a hug - but he always wants a hug and they always last too long. besides i was sweating bullets and still working on summoning what would be the erection of a lifetime. we settled on a high-five.</p>
<p>... she started trying to say my name, but was overtaken with a cry of ecstasy. that's how i know i hit a good spot. "you may be 2nd in the line of succession," i goaded her. she loves that. "but you'll always be first in line for this dick."</p>
<p>we collapsed on a pile of like, books and papers and stuff. she lit a cigarette. i don't smoke. i called for room service but forgot who's office we were in. i thought about telling them to just bring hors d'oeuvres to everybody - like a surprise - but a sound from behind the drapes grabbed my attention. we stood up to investigate, nancy clutching my arm for protection. "don't worry baby," i comforted her, "who's there? answer me!" there was definitely someone hiding - i threw back the curtain, and it was mike pence! "vice president pence!"</p>
<p>i exclaimed, "this is the 2nd time i specifically told you to do something and you didn't do it!" he had learned of our romance. of course he knew. "i would never say anything to endanger you, sir" he tried to calm me down. he knew all this time. and he was still rubbing his dick. "well, mike. if this is how you feel..." i placed my hand on the nape of nancy's neck. she gave me a sidelong look, as if to say, "you're so bad." i am so bad. i guided her to her knees, and beckoned my colleague closer - but he rebuked our advances. he raised a devout hand, the one he wasn't masturbating with, and declared "only I may be a custodian to mine own temple." just then, a knock at the door - the secret service - "sir, we're here with your chicken nuggets?" the hors d'oeuvres!</p>
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